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This year signifies a ten-year milestone since the term “vanishing” entered the public consciousness. Back then, the notion that someone could suddenly stop communication with a partner without explanation seemed like the height of rudeness. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more bewildering – an frequently unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Zoomers, a demographic who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated attack on the rights of women and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their millennial predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating glossary has grown more elaborate and more bizarre, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the limits of your sanity.

The following list is a detailed guide to the terms gen Z is using to talk about romance, intimacy and the pursuit of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to simpler times – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of gen Z, romance's ultimate goal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's reaction is engaged or disinterested. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to choosing someone who helps you without being asked. If you entered a room, they would pull up a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A meet-up where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how cash-strapped twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a inflation-era world.

Melting down – Melting down when you feel swamped by life. You can spiral over a crush or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

DINK – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own fulfillment. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Flags

• Warning signs – Personal traits indicating a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes crazy, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Green flags – These actions confirm your choice to pursue a mate. For instance following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, low phone use, having a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These typically describe specific, mostly benign quirks. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same things or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy is into.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The rare partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's foil.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so fixated with masturbation that they attempt lengthy sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A phenomenon describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that instantly extinguish any feelings of interest.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an incredibly sweet gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “banker” is the ideal partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more nurturing among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that kissing has existed for 16 million years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers want fewer sex scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Enhanced profile crafting – Mild deception. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {